


Valentine's Day (Or the Hair Mishap Of One James Potter)

by melenafrey



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, M/M, MWPP Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-09
Updated: 2013-07-09
Packaged: 2017-12-18 05:32:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/876180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melenafrey/pseuds/melenafrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius tries to help James win Lily's heart on Valentine's Day with the assistance of alcohol. And some magical bleach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Valentine's Day (Or the Hair Mishap Of One James Potter)

“Sirius!”  
Sirius Black turned around in his armchair by the fireplace to see James Potter running full speed at him, glasses flashing in the firelight and his untidy hair flopping gracelessly.  
He stopped at the arm of his chair, directed a pointed look at the second-year occupying the opposite seat, and tapped his foot impatiently. Sirius stifled a laugh as the little brat sullenly scooped up his assignments and left, shooting irritated looks at his own shoes because he wasn’t brave enough to look James right in the face.  
“What the hell is your problem, Prongs?”  
James collapsed into the opposite chair, looking disdainfully down at the red pattern as though it had personally wronged him. “Tomorrow,” he said simply, with an expression as downcast as Sirius had seen in months.  
“What’s tomorrow?” Sirius prodded impatiently. If he let James tell him in his own time they’d easily be here all night.  
James let his head roll back against the armchair dramatically and sighed in a theatrical manner he’d probably learned from Sirius, master all of theatrics and dramatic behavior. “Valentine’s Day.”  
Sirius snorted. “Why should I pay any attention to that mundane holiday?”  
James lifted his head and stared reproachfully at him. “You’ve a got a date, haven’t you?”  
Sirius stared back at him with furrowed brow until it hit him that he just might have agreed to some date-type of outing, in the interest of getting off with a new girl who hadn’t thrown anything at him for being an insensitive berk. Which he wasn’t, thanks, but girls just didn’t take it particularly well when he let them down- gently of course- that it had been fantastic but he wasn’t looking for any kind of commitment. At all.  
“Ah, shit, I think you’re right…Marlene? Was that who I talked to?”  
James shrugged, falling back against the chair again as he quickly lost interest in his friend’s plight. “Dunno, it’s not my job to keep track of your women for you.”  
“It was Marlene,” Sirius said firmly, though in truth he wasn’t completely positive. “But I’m sure you didn’t rush over here to tell me that.”  
James shook his head glumly at him. “No. I need help, though, what I am supposed to do for Lily?”  
Sirius snorted. “Leave well alone, mate. That’s your best option after that fiasco with the brooms.”  
James glared petulantly at him, fire reflecting amber light in his glasses. “How was I supposed to know she was still so opposed to flying?”  
Sirius snorted and looked away from his friend, tracing a crease in his trousers idly with a finger. “Padfoot,” James wheedled, “help me out. Come on, after all I’ve done for you?”  
Sirius sighed. “I’ve got nothing, Prongs, honest to god. If I knew how to help you into her pants I’d have done it ages ago to stop you whining at me constantly.”  
“I’m not whining,” James cried. He had the decency to look momentarily ashamed of himself, however, and fell silent for a while, staring at the flames moodily.  
“Well,” Sirius broke the silence after about ten minutes, “I’ve got a solution for you right now- maybe it’ll even help with Evans.” He pulled a bottle from between the seat cushions and held it aloft, shaking it tantalizingly in front of James.  
James wrinkled his nose. “Firewhisky? I feel like that isn’t a good idea.”  
“Nonsense.” Sirius waved a hand at James’ doubtful expression. “Alcohol helps with creativity. All the great muggle artists know that. And, er, it’ll give you an idea for tomorrow. It’ll be great.”  
James snorted, but grabbed the bottle nonetheless. “You just pulled that out of your arse,” he accused, uncorking the stopper.  
Sirius shrugged, a slight smile playing on his lips. “Ideas have come from worse places.”  
James laughed and took a long sip from the bottle, wincing slightly at the burn, and handed it back. Sirius took a long pull as well.  
Forty minutes later saw them both back in the dormitory, laughing in turns and then speaking eagerly of their most recent idea.  
“I’ve got it!” James yelled after a short bout of laughter. “Y’see, Evans doesn’t want me because-” he paused dramatically, leaning in towards Sirius with a thoughtful look, “because I’m not blond.”  
Sirius leaned back, roaring with laughter. He paused in his mirth to wipe at stray tears escaping from his eyes. “Don’t think that’s it, mate,” he choked out. “I’ve gotten loads of girls, loads,” he eyed James seriously, “and I’m not blonde.” He whipped his head around, his dark locks flying around his shoulders as if for emphasis.  
James eyed him disdainfully. “But you’ve never gotten her,” he stressed.  
Sirius considered for a moment, and promptly decided James was brilliant. Clearly this was the reason she had denied him for so long.  
“Because, remember that last chap she dated?” James asked, more tentatively. “He was blond, wasn’t he?” He hiccupped, and looked surprised at his unintentional outburst. “’Scuse me. Maybe I’m wrong, Padfoot, I should just-”  
“No!” Sirius exploded. “No, no, Prongs, you’re a right genius is what you are, and we’re going to fix you up right now so tomorrow you can go get your red-headed bird and we can be done with this sorry affair.” He picked up his wand and brandished it threateningly at James. “Now come here, and Padfoot will fix you up.”  
James seemed to be mentally backtracking, because Sirius could see the fear and caution flitting across his face as he stared at the wand. “Are you sure?”  
Sirius grinned madly at him as though it would be a comfort. “Of course I’m sure! Now let’s see, what spell did that third-year girl use to change the color of her hair…”  
Sirius tried a few different tactics but eventually was satisfied with the new, improved light color of James’ locks. “Perfect!” he cried. “My masterpiece is complete!” He stood up, whooping and running around the room until he collapsed in a sudden fit of exhaustion, into his own bed.  
“Brilliant,” James mumbled. “Cheers, mate.” He slumped over by his own bed and joined Sirius in unconsciousness.

The annoying melody of twittering finches and loud groans from one of his fellow roommates were the catalysts for ending Sirius’ too short, altogether unsatisfactory rest.  
He reluctantly opened his eyes and immediately regretted it, groaning low as the evil, evil sunlight hit him square in the face. He rolled onto his other side, ignoring the twinge of nausea reminding him of last night’s festivities and burrowed more deeply into the blankets.  
Another low, loud moan, following by retching sounds sounded from the bathroom, and Sirius sighed deeply before sitting up. Ooh, lord, he shouldn’t have done that.  
Burping queasily, he swallowed, determined not to vomit all over the rug, and stood slowly. He scanned the room, seeing three other beds, two of which had stirring occupants, grumbling at the noises emitting from the loo. Sirius padded past the furniture, stopping in the doorway to see James bent over the toilet, sniffling pathetically.  
“Oi, can’t you be miserable a bit quieter, then?” Sirius rasped, grimacing at how his head began pounding as he spoke.  
James coughed wetly and sat back, leaning against the bathtub. “Look at me,” he cried, tugging at his hair wildly.  
Sirius blinked blearily for a second before he realized what the problem was, and then his eyes widened. “Christ, Potter, I never thought your hair could get any worse.”  
“It’s not even blond, Sirius, what did you do?!”  
Sirius scratched the back of his neck as he racked his brains for some sort of intelligent answer. Nothing forthcoming, he grinned weakly. “It’s uh, sort of blond.”  
“It’s not blond, it’s green,” James wailed, burying his head in his hands.  
Much as Sirius might like to deny it, it was rather green looking. The unpleasant color brought out a similar hue in James’ face, due to his combined distress and hangover.  
“Well,” Sirius paused, thinking quickly, “it’s definitely fixable.”  
“How?” James asked, lifting his head to glare at Sirius. His angry look slipped off rather fast when Sirius took a minute to consider.  
“Alright, don’t look so bloody upset, Potter, Jesus….I’ll think of something,” he tried bracingly, but James didn’t look convinced of anything.  
Which had been smart of him, because Sirius spent an hour in the bathroom with James, trying out anti-jinxes and various charms to set his hair back to normal, and if anything he’d only made things worse.  
“Figures your hair would be a bitch about this, too, since being forever messy isn’t enough,” Sirius griped, waving his wand over the top of James’ head as though that would help.  
“This is entirely your fault,” James grumbled, arms crossed and lips pushed out in an immature pout. “You just had to get us drunk.”  
“Not like I forced you into it, you readily got pissed all on your own, thanks,” Sirius retorted snappishly.  
“Sirus? James?”  
They both spun around to see Remus and Peter standing in the doorway, looking equally sleepy and confused.  
“Morning, lads!” Sirius said brightly. “Hope we didn’t wake you.”  
Remus squinted at him. “I suppose I was just trying to get a bit of a lie-in, but it’s not meant to be this morning. What happened to you two?”  
“Sirius has forever ruined my chances with Lily.” James announced loudly.  
Sirisu huffed in indignation. “It was his idea to turn it blond.”  
Peter tilted his head to the side in confusion. “It’s not really blond, though, it’s…well it’s not blond at all really, it’s more like bright green.”  
James sprung up and glanced in the mirror, howling when he saw the change. “You lied!” He rounded on Sirius. “It is worse!”  
“Cheer up, mate,” Sirius tried for an optimistic tone, throwing an arm around James in comradely fashion. “Maybe Evans will think it’s an improvement.”  
James moaned and sank back down on the floor.  
Remus and Peter excused themselves with feeble excuses of needing to get dressed, but Sirius knew they just wanted to be able to laugh freely without seeing their dejected faces.

“So, is Madam Pomfrey seeing to him, then?”  
Remus reached across Sirius for a jug of orange juice, raising an eyebrow questioningly.  
Sirius sighed, stirring at his porridge half-heartedly. “Yeah. Thought she’d bust something internally, though, the way she kept trying to hold in laughter as she scolded us.”  
Remus shook his head in mock disapproval. “How on earth did that even happen? Did you curse it green, or something?”  
“No! I don’t know!” Sirius cried, feeling waves of judgment rolling off Remus. “James gets ridiculous when it comes to Lily, it isn’t my fault.” He frowned miserably at his breakfast, not feeling hungry in the slightest.  
“Well at least she didn’t see, right?” Remus tried reasonably, but faltered when Sirius didn’t answer. “…she saw?”  
“She saw,” Sirius comfirmed glumly. “Never seen anyone laugh so hard. She was hysterical, she and all her girlfriends.” He sighed. “He’s going to kill me.”  
Remus winced sympathetically. “That’ll teach you two to get drunk on your own, without any logical influence.”  
Sirius stared at him in annoyance. “And where were you last night? You know it’s your job to be logical for us. And it’s two weeks til the full moon, I’ve checked.”  
Remus nodded. “I know, I was keeping Peter company while he did detention. You know, for that potion explosion you caused?”  
Sirius fidgeted in his seat. “Well, I think we determined that an actual cause couldn’t really be determined,” he said mulishly.  
Remus only smiled at him. “Of course,” he said pleasantly. “But someone had to take the blame, and since it wasn’t the two actual culprits…”  
“Oh, bugger off,” Sirius grunted, eating a spoonful of the now-cold porridge. Yuck. It tasted about as appetizing as it looked.  
“Bleh.” He pushed the bowl away from him and rested his head on the table on his crossed arms.  
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for a date?”  
His head lifted minutely from the table. “How do you know about that?”  
Remus smirked. “Marlene wouldn’t talk about anything else in Arithmancy yesterday. As I understand it, it was the highlight of her entire month.”  
Sirius grunted, not bothering maintain eye contact. “No. Cancelled. Marlene said she understood.”  
“Was this before or after she saw James’ hair?”  
“After,” Sirius admitted. “Before, she did seem to want to poke my eyes out with her wand.”  
Remus laughed unexpectedly, his thigh brushing Sirius’, and Sirius felt a not unpleasant stirring in the pit of his stomach, a warmth radiating from his solar plexus and moving to the rest of him in response to Remus’ proximity.  
“Laugh all you want, I’ll be here all week.”  
Remus nudged him with a shoulder. “Oh, don’t be like that. You should have some fun before James is done in the hospital wing and comes looking to kill you, after all.”  
Sirius moaned, and Remus smiled. “We could go to Hogsmeade today, instead,” he offered, sounding oddly shy at his own suggestion.  
Sirius sat up, twitching his lips into a thoughtful frown.  
“I think Peter mentioned something about new merchandise in Zonko’s, and I’m out of sugar quills, so we could go to Honeyduke’s, too, if you want…”  
Sirius smiled at Remus’ efforts. Somehow going out with him seemed like a vastly superior idea to watching Marlene McKinnon flirt at him across a café table, anyhow. And he was right- he should enjoy himself before James decided it was time to tear him a new one for humiliating him in front of most of Gryffindor and the love of his life.  
“Alright,” he conceded, and Remus grinned broadly, prompting an identical look to form on Sirius’ face.  
“Alright,” Remus echoed back at him. “If you’re finished, I’ll just run upstairs to grab a few galleons- thought they were in my pocket but they must be in my trunk…”  
Opting to travel through the passage hidden by the statue of Gregory the Smarmy instead of the normal route (Why go through the secret passage when we’re allowed out of the castle? Because it’s more fun, Moony) they avoided the crowd of obnoxious couples and managed to get to Hosmeade before nearly everyone else. They wandered through the cobblestone streets and admired various things before making the necessary purchases (chocolate and sweets for Remus, pranking materials for Sirius) and ended up in the Three Broomsticks.  
Lifting a glass of butterbeer, Remus cleared his throat awkwardly before speaking.  
“I know it probably isn’t what you had in mind, Padfoot,” he said with some amusement, “but Happy Valentine’s Day anyway.”  
Sirius grinned and clinked his glass against his friend’s. The day had, surprisingly, been better than he was expecting, and while he was not exactly looking forward to the warm welcome likely awaiting him in the dormitory from James that evening, right now it was relatively easy to focus on other things. Other things being the frankly adorable smile on Remus’ face and the way Sirius felt warm and happy just being with him, and the strange sense that next Valentine’s Day, he would be here again- with Remus, but perhaps as something more than friends…  
He took a long sip of the butterbeer and smacked his lips appreciatively, making sure to catch Remus’ eye and smiling widely before returning sincerely, “Happy Valentine’s Day, Moony.”


End file.
